June 18, 2009

I have lunch plans with my daughter today and am eager to spend the afternoon with her. Things have been hard on her since "the flash". Physically, she has been frozen in time. So many parents wish they could take snap shots of their children and hold them at certain ages forever, but I have seen how hard life has been on her since. Lunch today will be good. I encourage her to talk about things and perhaps it's because she was younger, but she does talk. I always tell her that she needs to express herself and not keep things bundled inside of her. Doing that is as bad as the poison emitted from the flash. She is a good girl, she will always be my baby.

June 17, 2009

My friend warmed my heart when she spoke of her future generations. She watched proudly as her students graduated from 8th grade and will be moving onto high school in the fall in the USA. I am pleased to know stories like mine are being told and having an impact on generations, one life at a time. The schools principal dared those students to care more and respect more - I applaud those students striving to achieve that goal. It's nice to know that among the chaos of contemporary times, the whispers of the past are helping shape the future. Young lives leave me hopeful.

June 10, 2009

I am deeply saddened today as I learn that an American security guard lost his life to more senseless violence. A man, about my age, opened fire in the Holocaust museum in Washington, D.C. Is nothing sacred anymore? Have we lost a sense of self worth? Is this why people act out in senseless violence and seek to destroy others? What can one gain when inflicted irreversable pain and anguish on unsuspecting innocents? When will people learn to listen to the past? How can people study history and not hear what the voices are saying. Angels and demons beckon us with their stories, yet we are too consumed in our own quests to listen.

A long time ago I remember trying to sooth my daughter by telling her, "It can't happen again, if no one drops the bomb." Now, however I feel that perhaps I was too closed in my declaration. Perhaps I should have been wiser to expand my thoughts. Budda proclaimed from the tree of wisdom, thousands of years ago, all humans suffer -but why must so many be in anguish? I have often thought back to 'the flash' and wondered how I can reach Prajna? How can one be expected to free ones mind of something like the flash, when events like North Korea's bomb testing, Holocaust Memorial shootings, Israeli Palistinian conflicts wrench my mind into a mental state of pure hell?

I will light a candle this August for my husband, as I do every year. I think I will also add the next generation of Hiroshima victims - people like Laura Ling, Euna Lee and Mr. Security Guard. I hope that my list does not continue to grow, but fear that my hope may be futile at this point. It will be, at least, until others begin to hope too. After all, it can't happen again, if people take a stand. Can it?

Hiroshima- No Pika By Toshi Maruki

Monday, June 8, 2009

I am disgusted and saddened to hear about Laura Ling and Euna Lee, two American jounalists who were sentenced to 12 years in labor camps in North Korea. These labor camps subject their prisoners to frequent and inhumane beatings, work and often starvation. North Korea has been a disgrace. At the turn of 2009 they began launching nuclear weapons in forms of "tests". What are they testing though? Why? Have they forgotten what happened nearly 64 years ago across the East Sea?! How could anyone forget? So many dead - if they were lucky. The day of the flash will vex me until the end of time. Walking among the dead through the rubble of my beloved Hiroshima, Japan is the nightmare that haunts me during the day.

What is the need for these catastrophic contraptions? I remember telling my daughter as we lit our lanterns in rememberance of my husband and others who were so painfully erradicated from the earth, that this could never happen again if no one drops the bomb. Now, I am fraught with worry and anger. Worried that my nightmare may become anothers reality. Worried that more husbands, mothers, sons and daughters will be ripped apart and besieged from the horror that may be. How can we not learn from the tragic pasts? Have people really forgotten? Was my husbands life a meaningless pawn in the game of chess that North Korea has reduced this to be?